I have been a bridesmaid twice before, and both times I have blended into a small troupe of girls, each in identikit gowns save for the dress size. I’ve never been too fussy when it comes to other people’s weddings – I’m happy to be trussed up in whatever the bride chooses and trotted down the aisle. I also don’t have a leg to stand on, as I asked my own three bridesmaids to wear fully embellished gowns that shredded their arms with sequin burn, and they dutifully obliged. But now I’m a bridesmaid for one of my closest friends, for what will likely be the final time, and the hunt for a suitable dress has begun once more. Only this time, I’m not a bridesmaid. I’m the bridesmaid.
This last year has brought untold restrictions where weddings are concerned, and a number cap on bridesmaids is inevitable when your entire guest list is restricted. So, to avoid the complications of spurning complex friendship groups, I’m bearing the crown alone. Searching for a dress this time around has only highlighted how unengaged I was in my previous tenures. My first foray was for a dear cousin, where I mingled into a burgundy blur of identical Monsoon evening dresses with a wisp of chiffon on one shoulder, complete with devoré velvet patches and a pink pashmina. I was 15, so I was just overjoyed to have my hair and make-up done – no matter what I wore – and the dresses were contemporary, for the early 2000s.
Only this time, I’m not a bridesmaid. I’m the bridesmaid
My second stab at matronly duties was only a few years ago. This time I was 30, but there was a more important figure at play: I was 14 weeks pregnant. With bubbling nausea, I zipped myself and my burgeoning bump into a silver tulle gown without really registering its style credentials, more focused on squirrelling a chicken sandwich into my clutch bag. Now, I am once more months into the dress search and we have reached peak dress fatigue, having tried and rejected countless gowns.
My second stab at being a bridesmaid
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Hunting for a bridesmaid’s dress has always been woe-ridden, usually due to too many cooks. The fashion industry responded to this problem with panache, with many brands offering a range of dresses that echo each other but are subtly different, to suit various figures. Twobirds Bridesmaid was founded in 2007 by New Yorker Ariane Goldman, and presented an American solution to the universal problem – an extensive collection of gowns that could be wrapped in different ways to flatter varying body types, available in more shades than a Farrow and Ball colour chart. Soon after, in the wake of global attention on Pippa Middleton’s bridesmaid’s dress, which was designed by Sarah Burton for the royal wedding in 2011, a sleek and sinuous gown was cemented as the iconic bridesmaid’s dress of the Noughties.
Pippa Middleton at the 2011 royal wedding
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The Own Studio, TH&TH, Rewritten, Grace Loves Lace, Les Heroines and Motee Mades are all brands which have since sprung up offering largely the same concept – silky, long dresses seemingly available in a Pantone kaleidoscope. The high street followed suit, and Ghost began offering similar styles with svelte silhouettes. Worn en masse, these dresses create a backdrop of uniform colour from which the bride (if wearing traditional white) stands out. Asos replicates these sorts of designs at a more accessible price point, making it possible to quash six women’s body hang-ups including everything from a left collar bone to a right ankle, in one fell swoop.
Unfortunately, none of these solutions to bridesmaid dress dilemmas are any help whatsoever
Unfortunately, none of these solutions to bridesmaid dress dilemmas are any help whatsoever to the lone maid. I cannot pick a particular neckline and rely on the rest of my gang to supply complementary and contrasting silhouettes. I cannot create a vivid backdrop for a white dress as a one-man band. Many brides also use the bridesmaids’ dresses to convey the colour palette of the entire event from the moment the organ pipes up, and they incorporate whole tablescapes, floristry and even the groomsmen’s ties into this theme. Instead of a tablescape, my bride and I are more like a salt-and-pepper set – I am the yin to her yang. Suddenly, my dress carries more weight, and yet it still must not compete with hers.
The Own Studio halter midi
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There are positives to this. “Having only one bridesmaid to consider really opens up the sartorial options – the challenges that come with what suits who when you have multiple friends to consider become obsolete,” says Charlotte O’Shea, founder of bridal site Rock My Wedding. “We are witnessing an increase in sole bridesmaids forgoing dresses altogether – jumpsuits and trouser suits are stylish and comfortable and lend themselves well to being worn again,” she adds. The tricky bit is finding an ensemble that is interesting in its own right – no grecian block-colour gowns here – but that can be enhanced into a bridal look with the addition of a bouquet. When you think about it, you never normally choose an outfit based on whether it would look weird with a clutch of roses and ribbons held at the midriff, and that’s before you even try to add in sustainable good intentions – aiming to find something you will wear again afterwards.
The tricky bit is finding an ensemble that is interesting in its own right
It is a pretty niche category, but after much searching it seems that there are certain brands that were born for this brief. Needle & Thread recently curtailed their formal bridal line, but remain the first port of call for dresses that sing of happily-ever-afters, with lashings of sparkling beads and sequins in flattering silhouettes. Its Regency Garden prom dress boasts delicate embroidery that looks straight out of Snow White – complete with baby blue tits. It’s crying out for a bunch of peonies, but could also be worn again for summer picnics, garden parties, or as a wedding guest with a cropped jacket.
Needle & Thread’s Regency Garden prom dress
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Self-Portrait presents contemporary options in wildly varying silhouettes and hues, allowing you to pick something that complements your shape (as well as your posy) that you can also wear as a cocktail dress thereafter. Full-skirted taffeta designs nod to bygone bridesmaid styles of the 1950s, while dense lace, puff sleeves, asymmetric details and sheer panelling ensure that the dresses aren’t boring – one of the biggest pitfalls of bridesmaid-dress style, and even worse when you’re the only one. Occasionally the more affordable high-street brands like Zara or H&M will offer up a gem, but the mid-level labels excel in this arena. Reformation, Rixo and Whistles all create dresses and jumpsuits that are eye-catching enough on their own yet work as a charming chime to a white dress.
Those looking for a more boho aesthetic to suit an intimate summer ceremony may well gravitate to the likes of Zimmermann, Ulla Johnson or Faithfull the Brand, whose loose floral prints will echo the blooms in a bride’s bouquet. LoveShackFancy’s maxi and midi dresses are similarly easy breezy in pastel shades and light fabrics, whereas more contemporary and city ceremony suited cocktail dresses are offered by the likes of Rotate Birger Christensen, Artclub and Les Rêveries.
The Vampire’s Wife Skyrocket dress
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At the top end of the market, The Vampire’s Wife is the ultimate incarnation of lone bridesmaid chic, albeit at a price point beyond most bride’s budgets. Its Sky Rocket, Stroke of Midnight and cult Falconetti styles would all make excellent lone maid options, with punchy colours and tactile, luxuriant fabrics. At the end of the night you’re left with a dress with timeless appeal to take into your future fictitious life with the best man, and those recycling credentials go a long way today. “With an increased awareness of the huge impact the fashion industry has on the environment this is a preferable option for couples,” says O’Shea. “We envisage the desire for comfortable and multi-use outfits to continue in popularity beyond the current Covid climate as brides and grooms consciously work towards having a sustainable celebration.”
As for me, I’ve always been a sucker for a fairytale, so I will be bedecked in blue tits next summer, having fallen for the Needle & Thread prom dress that swishes from the waist, spritzed with iridescent sequins and floral embroidery. The thing that clinched it? Trying it on felt effortless – once the zip was done up and I smoothed down the full skirt, I felt ready to crack on with the job in hand, forgetting all about myself and my post-baby body insecurities; eager to celebrate something that feels so precious, exciting and fragile in these unprecedented times – a wedding.
